The Sacred, Unexpected Work of Hope

Notes on five days spent in Arizona, a new mentorship cohort opportunity, a ministry highlight, and a breath prayer to keep

At the start of this year, I flew to Arizona to retreat with the Made for PAX Fellowship of emerging BIPOC creatives (social entrepreneurs, digital artists, and writers). After five months of meeting and interacting virtually, this time together was a beautiful culmination of so many things, and a tangible experience of fresh hope. This fellowship is for the fellows who make it what it is, and yet, being with the emerging writers over these last five months and being with those who could make it to the retreat at the beginning of this new year, ministered to my soul too. I left Arizona feeling awake and so deeply grateful for the PAX staff and leadership team who not only dreamt of this, but planned and went for it…and for the fellows who joined. I FEEL SO LUCKY TO HAVE THEM IN MY LIFE (yes, I’m yelling). Even though I was their “track leader,” I need you to know that they led and taught me with their empathy, their way of seeing the world, their hope, their creative gifts, and their stories. Also, they taught me important things like, how to take better selfies and that I should be wearing my beloved fanny pack as a sling instead of the way I used to wear it in middle school…

I wrote about what it meant for me personally to be with them in an instagram post on the flight home:

‘Sometime last spring I said yes to partnering with @madeforpax and leading an emerging writers track. I had no idea what to expect, or what would come to be. All I knew was that I respect PAX and love what they are about, and that I am passionate about pouring into other BIPOC writers in ways I look back and wish I’d had at so many different points along the way as a WOC writer.

After the last five months with our track, and the last five days with the whole PAX team and most of the fellowship, I am leaving overwhelmed with a taste of shalom. Beholding the stories of these beautiful, peacemaking, creative, justice-seeking, Jesus-loving younger-than-me-adults is something that has rekindled my hope.

I sat on the plane to fly home today, and couldn’t stop thinking about the projects shared, the abundance of laughter (so much laughter) and listening, bravery and bearing witness, tears and tenderness, safety and connectedness, over the last five days. I re-played the words of some fellows throughout our time and cried at my window seat remembering ones like these on-repeat:

“This was the first time I could show up as my whole self.”

“Being in this room with everyone here feels like home.”

“I feel like I fully belong here.”

Thank you to @madeforpax and to the #writeordie writers who took a chance on this good thing and let me be part of it. We aren’t done yet!’

From the top, L-R: our emerging writers track (minus Marvel and Nikki), the PAX fellowship, a group of us that hiked Echo Canyon Trail to the peak of Camelback, the beautiful cacti at our Fransiscan retreat center, some of the emerging writers finishing their cumulative projects, a prayer labyrinth at our retreat center, and me with my friend, Latasha, who is also the PAX Fellowship director.

I look back on my own writing journey and wonder what it would’ve been like to be in a room with other young adults who not only looked like me and understood my experience as a person of color, but affirmed those realities and made space for them, and not just that, but also made space for my creative soul. Being with this beloved community healed something in me. It gave me hope. It’s funny how hope does that — it not only anchors us, but it can also reach deep into the dark corners and pull out bitter root remnants we thought we’d gotten rid of, and fill them with new seeds of goodness and life.

If any of this moves you or resonates with you and you want to pour into this fresh hope of emerging BIPOC creatives who love Jesus and are committed to justice and peacemaking, you can do so by donating here. I’m not on staff with PAX and no one asked me to share that, but because I believe in what is happening through this organization, I feel compelled to invite you into it as well.

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A mentorship cohort for mixed Asian American women

image created by Steve Veasey.

If you are a mixed Asian American woman and want to gather with other mixed Asian American women of faith, to talk about what it feels like to live in and navigate the world as someone who holds multiple worlds within, this might be for you. If you often feel like you don’t fit into one ethnic identity or another, while still being fully both, this might be for you. If you think about things like, how to embrace your whole self, and what that looks like as you live in community with friends and family, this might be for you.

In this 6 session, 3 month, cohort, we’ll be gathering on zoom on Fridays, during the day, starting in March.

March 15th, 22nd, 8am PT/11am ET

April 12th, 26th, 8am PT/11am ET

May 3rd, 17th, 8am PT/11am ET

What you’ll need: Your own copy of Tell Me The Dream Again to use throughout the cohort. We’ll be reading sections together, and referring to some the guided questions included in the book.

Cost: $10/person - this is to help me cover the cost of upgrading from my free zoom account throughout the cohort, and to cover the cost of a couple of resources I’d like to purchase for this cohort.

There will be limited amount of spots for this spring cohort, but if there is a lot of interest, I’ll consider doing another one at a later time. To register, click the link below or the image above. Please feel free to hit reply if you have any questions.

Register here

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Meet Jihya and Salt and Light Ministry

// Salt + Light Ministry: 

As a former exotic dancer, Jihya remembers the struggles. After she became saved, she started attending church and encountered stigma when sharing this part of her life. She believes everyone, including women in the adult entertainment industry, should be welcomed in the Christian community and discipleship. After sharing her testimony on (in)courage, God placed it on her heart to start Salt + Light, a ministry that seeks to help women in the adult entertainment industry as well as their families. It partners with a variety of services and offers resources that are available in their city. Their city, Portland, has the most strip clubs per capita. And beginning in February, they are starting a monthly support group for anyone who wants to grow their faith in a non-judgemental space, where women don’t have to hide what they do for a living and just be loved as Jesus would. 

To learn more about Salt + Light Ministry and follow their journey, you can find all their information here.

I met Jihya through Tell Me the Dream Again. She is a reader who reached out to me after reading the book, invited me to speak at her church in Portland, then extended such generous hospitality and love, and has become a friend. It’s been an honor to get to know her, to hear her story, meet and break bread with her community, witness the ways she loves and serves others, and watch her start this ministry she’s dreamt of.

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A breath prayer for 2024

The first morning I woke up in Arizona, I read this, “Love from the center of who you are, don’t fake it” from Romans 12:9 (the Message). I went on to read the familiar verses that follow but kept coming back to this one. I sat on this swing silently speaking the verse back to myself as I swung back and forth, and carried it around with me as a silent breath prayer each day:

Inhale: I can love from the center of who I am.
Exhale: There’s no need to fake it.

What a continually freeing reminder. Not only have we been made free to love others, we can love others from the honest center of who we are. Imperfect. In process. Becoming. Aware of our weaknesses and our need to receive love from the source of love to give love away.

Grateful and shalomsick,