Rememorari Divina
a spiritual practice and a book highlight
Rememorari Divina: divine remembering
Am I allowed to name my own spiritual practice?
I’m not really asking for permission, however, I do want you to know that I am not a professional and have no credentials when it comes to this sort of thing (it does seem fitting to share that I am just beginning a 2 year training to journey towards becoming a spiritual director — more on that to come).
This isn’t supposed to be something that replaces therapy or or other tools and resources you may have from a mental health professional — and if you find yourself stuck with recurring memories that impact your ability to function daily, I want to encourage you to seek help.
This practice is something I’ve done for some time, without knowing or naming it as a contemplative spiritual practice. I’ve always been someone who has looked back and carried vivid memories (both joyful and challenging) around as if they are in my back pocket. I haven’t always known what to do with them. At times I’ve gone back to them searching for something: closure, a clue, or another take. Other times, I’ve felt like some memories follow me like a shadow - making it hard to see the gift of today. At some point along the way in my longings and wrestling with the past, I started trying to invite God into those moments with me. It’s changed the way this melancholy girl looks back and that has impacted the way I am able to stay present where I am, and trust that God is with me.
I recently decided to name the practice so that I can share it, and I’m sharing it here in the hopes that it might be helpful for you like it has been for me. I also really like saying rememorari divina (in my best Hermione voice).
Rememorari Divina could be a sibling of Lectio or Visio Divina. The difference in this practice is that the focus is on a memory instead of reading a passage of scripture or looking at a work of art.
In addition to memories that come to mind, I also practice Rememorari Divina with photos, using the image and my own mental memory of it combined. There’s no “fixing” of what was, or anything specific that happens through the practice - it merely helps me connect the dots between a memory, God’s love for me, and experience God’s presence with me as I look back and consider both then and now.
A memory I’ve carried
In elementary school, while living in Japan, I had a traumatic after-school mix-up. In my confusion upon arriving home and not finding my mom home, and our front door a jar, I’d come to believe that my home had been broken into, and my mom, kidnapped. What began as a slight misunderstanding (she was with our upstairs landlords/neighbors), ended with me crying uncontrollably at the local subway station where I thought I might find my dad coming come from work.
After what felt like hours, one of the ticket collectors took me to the attached police station office, where I tried to tell them the elaborate story I’d created in my anxiety. They gave me tea and walked me home to find my panicked parents. As an adult, I can still remember how completely alone I felt standing in that train station, unable to stop crying and shaking, feeling like I might float away from everything I knew forever.
Henri Nouwen wrote:
“When I trust deeply that today God is truly with me and holds me safe in a divine embrace, guiding every one of my steps, I can let go of my anxious need to know how tomorrow will look, or what will happen next month or next year. I can be fully where I am and pay attention to the many signs of God's love within me and around me.”
Sometimes we have to go back, to learn how to be where we are.
Time is mysterious and complex, and yet the reality of God-with-us is not only for us in this moment, but for yesterday and tomorrow too. We don’t go back to stay stuck there, and we can’t change what happened, but we can go back and see something we couldn’t then. Inviting God into our memories can build our trust of God-with-us in the here and now, wherever we find our feet, heart, and soul, in this moment.
The memory I shared above is one that I’ve repeatedly invited God into as I’ve allowed myself to remember and retrace my steps. Of course, now I know how everything turned out, and though it seems like it should be enough to know it all turned out “okay,” for many years, it just wasn’t. The fear I felt all those years ago, and the way I held onto that experience and the questions that I had as a child, stayed with me long after the seeming danger was gone. Asking God to remember it with me and show me that I wasn’t alone, and am not alone now, has been mending and kind for my heart and soul.
During our family’s recent travel to France and Germany (more on that to come as well), I took a solo walk on a street in the city where I lived in Germany. I was flooded with memories from more than twenty years prior as I walked there. While the sun was still rising and the city still waking up, I invited God into that remembering and it was good for my heart and soul.
Try it for yourself
Imagine your younger self or think about a past memory (it can be a joyful or difficult one)
Focus on whatever image or feeling stands out, and ask God to show you your belovedness in that memory.
Include these breath prayers if you are comfortable:
Breathe in and pray: God-with-me, show me my belovedness back then
Breathe out and pray: I was never separated from your Love
Breathe in and pray: God-with-me, ground me in my belovedness right now
Breathe out and pray: Nothing can separate me from your love
Feel free to save the graphics above and/or share them if it’s helpful to you and your community.
My friend
released an important, beautiful book last week. I’ve been traveling with my family (more on that soon) and taking a break from social media, so I haven’t shared about it there as much as I’d normally do so.
Isn’t that a beautiful cover? The title and subtitle just draw me in. You too? Sarah is a dear friend, a deeply kind and honest soul, and someone I’d love to talk about belonging with, any day. She is a safe, welcoming, wise human being, and her words in this book are a gift to our ever-fragmented, lonely world. Here’s what I said about her book in my endorsement:
I hope you will mark it as a book “to-read,” order it online, and request it at your local library. Follow Sarah’s substack here while you’re at it. She is a generous writer, a gracious space online, just as as she is in real life.
Grateful and shalomsick,
Tasha, thank you for the beautiful graphic on inviting God into our memories (joyful and traumatic.) I am writing a summer blogpost series on finding the beauty in life whatever we have on hand - the savory and the sour, the salty and the sweet - and I'd like to use this in a future post. Thank you!
“We don’t go back to stay stuck there, and we can’t change what happened, but we can go back and see something we couldn’t then.” Beautiful.
Also thank you for generously sharing about The Way of Belonging. I’m so grateful for you.